To my dear SPS students

We always cheer and say, 'S-U-C-C-E-S-S... success!!!'
And this cheer is from me to all of you for the HKCEE!
And with my best wishes...

The Holiday

I guess I have nothing to say about this movie here except JUDE LAW.

I won't deny that I love this handsome British actor, having this lovely British accent, acting as a seemingly flamboyant bachelor, yet a loving father of two little angels, living in... oh god, the fantastic Cotswolds, BRITAIN.

我要吐苦水

近來真的很大壓力，有時大得令自己都透不過氣來，心跳也時快時慢。對於心臟特別弱的我，也經常精神緊張的我，也怕自己會有一天支持不住。
從來都知道教語文特辛苦，聽、說、寫、讀，四項都要兼顧，功課也特多。對於我來說，改作文是最痛苦。教低年級還好，一篇文大概只有一百五十字，而且幾乎每一篇都差不多，五分鐘便行。話雖如此，一班三十一人，一個作文題可以改上兩三個小時。一個老師，一天有多少個兩三個小時呢？加上高年級的作文，太駭人。一個學期，四篇一百字短文，四篇二百五十字長文。計一班三十一人，一篇長文起碼用上十分鐘批改，加上來便是六個小時。這些三小時，六小時好像不太多，但當一個老師教上三班的時候，那是小時可以堆積成數十或數百個小時。
教統局曾說老師教節時間不長，這是事實。不過，我們可以只出現在課室，胡亂說東說西便完成了我們的工作嗎？那些備課時間呢？那些煩瑣的行政工作呢？班主任要處理的班務又如何？那怕課外活動及校內委員會有十多樣事項，跟著又要有足夠的專業發展時數。這些加起來，我有時想：我有多少個我，每日有多少個小時？
若連這些都花上了廿四小時，我又何來有時間陪家人，見朋友，更不要說消遣娛樂，做運動嘛，我要說，老師是最不健康的人吧！
就以自己為例，工作繁重，睡眠不足之後，壓力也大。壓力給我不時的偏頭痛。過去的幾個月，我買了三盒頭痛藥，我自己都開始有點怕。腳嘛，每天站著授課，小腿的肌肉越來越繃緊，有時也會痛。改簿改上兩個小時，頸痛、腰痛、手痛等等都出現。我可以讓它們休息下來嗎？堆積如山的功課海，就快要湧過來－－太駭人。腸胃嘛，更可怕，種種情況，不得不說我有的似乎是林夕所患的「腸胃焦慮症」。而對於心很弱的我，不時的心跳不均勻，已給我響起了健康的警號。
有時在想，可以捱多久？
有時在想，我要離開。
往時，有學生的安慰，我會支持下去。
現在，我真的很迷惘。
真的很想放棄。

不方便吐露的真相

美國前副總統戈爾現身說法的電影《絕望真相》登場之後，氣候暖化問題幾乎成為報章雜誌上最新的賣點，一時之間每個人都感受到電影《明日之後》式的恐懼、反省，甚至開始身體力行，把冷氣調到25度，等等。

等等，其實早在95年聯合國曾召集二千多個科學家，出了一份有關全球氣候暖化的報告，詭異的是後來有參與的科學家站出來質疑人類活動與暖化現象有多大關係。

關乎全人類生死存亡問題，該是說一不二吧？像我們國歌一樣，起來，起來，起來，不願做地球村難民的人們，行動，行動，刻不容緩了。

等等，熱血與恐懼之餘，理性一點看，綠色生活，環保大計，何嘗不是一門大生意？所謂有機食物，價錢要賣貴幾倍？除了愛不斷換車的玩車族，還有甚麼市場狀況會令全球車主都送舊迎新？符合歐盟標準的汽車，就正如第三代手電帶來的商機，這是被道德感召之下過着綠色生活的人不妨看透的經濟現實，政治現實。

北極冰層不斷溶化，除了北極熊冬眠失調外，初生小海豹也因為冰層不耐暖化，承托不了小海豹而崩陷成湖，每天便有無數沒有機會學懂泳術的海豹，平白無辜的淹死在北極洋中。

當北極終於逐漸回復一個洋的身份後，科學家正在憂慮，而政治家商家則開始搶地盤，因為堅冰化水，採探極地下的資源就更加容易，到時候石油及礦物的供應，就有了一個新大陸。最得益的當然是俄羅斯，普京喜上眉梢，笑言他們可以少穿一點皮草了。西伯利亞不但有可能值萬億美元，而且氣候轉暖後，就擁有了大量適宜耕種及人類居住的地方，又反過頭來節省了暖氣的資源，這當然也包括飛機航綫可以縮短而減少用原油。

這暖化問題的另一面，簡直讓人心寒，我們一日不改變生活方式，不讓所謂文明與大自然對立，人類對大自然不斷苛索，北冰洋變回北極洋，我們還可以苟存多久？

中國已經知道人多不好辦事的道理，日本香港也已經屬於double income no kids的社會結構。香港人口向老化邁進，人口出生率年年下降，據說其中一個理由是兩夫婦太忙，不夠精力進行比較頻繁的房事。而我早在很多年前已開始聽過的理由是，這個世界太差了（不知是指香港還是泛指活着做人是苦的），才不願意再製造受害者。

總覺得這是不敢背負責任的藉口，做人既然苦，不若死了算數。但當Stephen Hawking，早前提出地球要早滅亡幾分鐘之後，便驚覺暖甚麼化？太陽早晚會燒到盡頭，是我們留下來的文明，原來都是一場虛妄，說甚麼紅樓夢永恒傳世，說甚麼真正藝術經得起時間考驗，都是妄語。

我們還有甚麼好執著的。這樣的願景，究竟是化境還是絕景？

- 林夕
（載於U Magazine, 72期）

笑忘書

張敬軒 - 笑忘書

作曲：張敬軒｜填詞：林若寧

要 背負個包袱
再 跳落大峽谷
煩惱 用個大網將你捕捉
還是你 抛不開拘束
你 昨夜發的夢
到 這夜已告終
沉下去 頭上散落雨點沒有彩虹
你 還在抱著記憶就似塊石頭很重

*得到同樣快樂 彼此亦有沮喪
童話書從成長中難免要學會失望
經過同樣上落 彼此墮進灰網
沉溺 煩擾 磨折 何苦 多講*

我 快樂到孤獨
我 缺乏到滿足
遊戲 就算愉快不會幸福
人大了 開心都想哭
我 每日要生活
我 每日要鬥苦
捱下去 連上帝亦也許沒法攙扶
我 前路有右與左面對抉擇難兼顧

擁有同樣寄望 彼此亦有苦況
棉花糖從成長中曾送你愉快天堂
經過同樣跌盪 可會學會釋放
童話 情書 遺書 尋找 答案
曾經... 曾經... 回憶當天三嵗波板糖

HKIFF

Grbavica [10 April, 2007, Hong Kong Cultural Centre Grand Theatre]
It's set in post-war Grbavica, where people still mourn for the pain they have been suffering for a decade through. Esma and her daughter, Sara, lives in the district of Sarajevo, where people wait for dead bodies to be evacuated and identify their families. What's between the mother and daughter has been the hidden truth of what's happened to the father - said to be a 'shaheed' (who fought for Bosnia and died in the war). When Esma starts a relationship with a man she met at work and Sara urges her mother for the 'death' certificate of her father for the school trip, the ugly past uncovers. Esma was raped by the Chetniks and gave birth to Sara (a 'bastard' she called...). We come to realise how hard it can be for the woman to look at her daughter's face and constantly reminds her of the humiliation.
The opening scene and one towards the end highlight the sharing of pains among the women in Grbavica along with the singing. Though I couldn't possibly understand a word, the melody carries itself a sense of melancholy, misery and despair which touches the heart of not only me, but everyone in the theatre.
It's a worth seeing film that urges us to reflect on war, once again.

Princess (Animation) [9 April, 2007, Hong Kong Cultural Centre Grand Theatre]
MISSED again coz Mr Chow constantly called on me... ZZZzzz...

The Free Will [8 April, 2007, Kwai Tsing Theatre Auditorium]
So far the worst choice I had for the festival.
It certainly aroused my interest at first of the topic - rape. Theo, a convicted rapist, who is released from prison and tries to enter what his mate called 'hell'. The constant rouse of violent desire and hate for women makes him incapable of fitting in the society. All the more, a sense of loneliness soon consumes him. The same happens to Nettie who starts her new and independent life and tries to cut off connection with her father. She encounters the same difficulties Theo has dealing with the opposite sex. Sooner, their gradual understanding of each other's pains draws them together and they fall in love.
However, the film doesn't end in ease but in pain and confusion. Theo commits the crime again and breaks off relationship with Nettie. Nettie, in desperation, chases him after and finds Theo in the same condition ends his life to release himself again, not from the concrete prison, but the mental.
I said 'confusion' in the end but in fact, I feel that the director doesn't explain lots of things and tries to prolong some parts unnessarily. The 163-min long film seemed to me a 4-hour film filled with loads of gaps and blanks. All these create the emptiness and fragments of the plot development. I try not to be too critical, yet I must say, I'm truly disappointed at how the director handles the subject matter 'unwisely' and clumsily.
If loneliness is the issue, there shouldn't essentially a rapist and a victim of abuse. If not, what exactly is the focus? The fact is, there's none.

Don [7 April, 2007, Hong Kong Cultural Centre Grand Theatre]
ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!!! There's always so much to explore from Bollywood movies and this one with some shadows of Infernal Affairs, Matrix, Jackie Chan and Mission Impossible, we're looking at nothing like those Hollywood blockbusters with loads of violence and sex. The film does have lots of action and exciting scenes, sex appeal and complicated plot. It also maintains its own Bollywood style of singing and dancing (which always brought the audience to laughters...). The most surprising thing I found in it is the ending. I can't tell much coz I really wanna you to go and see for yourself (and you'll know why I liked it so much about the ending).
For the plot, Don is the villain who's in the 'dirty' business and VJ, as a street musician, (un)luckily asked by a police officer to be a replacement of Don for they have the same looks. All the complications start with twists and suprises throughout.
P.S. This film is already a remake of a classic back in the late 80s - SUCCESSFUL as it was!

Flanders [7 April, 2007, Hong Kong City Hall Theatre]
MISSED because of hangover...

Black Book [5 April, 2007, Hong Kong Cultural Centre Grand Theatre]
Everyone might say, 'the old song' when a film is set at WWII concerning how Hitler carried out massive genocide of the Jews. Well, this film gives us not only bad Germans killing innocent Jews and people in a country. It poses bad Germans vs good Germans (who would negotiate justice with the 'enemies'), brave Resistance people vs treacherous companions, and many more of these shifting the perspectives of the 'stereotypical' to the 'uncovered'. We are told that a Jewish lady falls in love with a German officer, a mate sells everyone out in the Resistance for money and honour, a declaration of liberation means revenge and dangers - it's so much so different.
The black book, as the title, discloses all the conspiracy and plots and serves the key to unfolding the truth to the characters and the audience.

Jindabyne [4 April, 2007, Hong Kong City Hall Theatre]
Finally, I managed to catch my first film of the HKIFF 2007.
It's an Australian film about racism, honesty, family, love and gender conflicts. It all started with the murder of an aboriginal young woman, whose body was found by four white men fishing in the wild river on a mountain. Their decision to tether the body to a tree and leave it in the water (out of 'good' intention to keep the body 'intact') triggered outrage from the community people (especially the aborigins) about their indifference to report discovery several days later. But the matter doesn't just end up in more hate issues between the white and the aborigins; it leads to the breaking up of relationships of the couples and lovers, and even that of a family.
In the meantime, Claire and Tom have long hidden their true emotions from each other, which along with the controversial incident, bring them into vigorous confrontation of blames and distrust. While Claire once left Tom for 18 months after her first delivery of their son, Tom has long endured the scare of losing Claire again, which may again leave him alone with the son.
All these chaos settle when every character comes to uncover the truth and open themselves up for love and trust.
It's an inspiring film in many different ways for reflection but maybe the director still needs more tactics on delivering the message to the audience effectively.

Thirteen Princess Trees [25 March, 2007, UA Times Square]
MISSED again! Thanks to my torturing stomach pain...

London to Brighton [22 March, 2007, UA Times Square]
MISSED because of time-consuming staff meeting... (again, with loads of bullshits and stuff, excuse me!)